Decisions & Dilemmas: Navigating the “Should I Stay or Go” Dilemma
Beth's Dilemma: Balancing Success and Well-being
Beth, a partner at a prestigious consulting firm, appeared perpetually exhausted and overwhelmed. Despite her lucrative position at a top-tier consulting agency, she struggled with chronic fatigue, overwork, and an absence of personal time. Even weekends had become a rarity, with relentless client meetings dominating her schedule. The shift to remote work, initially promising, only deepened her distress. Skipping meals and neglecting exercise became routine as her life revolved around constant stakeholder interactions. Seeking a way out of her burnout, Beth turned to my coaching services, torn between her loyalty to an organization she had dedicated 8 years to and the need for self-care.
"It's the same at all consulting firms," she confided. "No other place would be any better."
Beth's predicament is all too familiar. Despite her plight, she was reluctant to seem unappreciative or labeled a "quitter."
I empathize. Raised in an environment that emphasized enduring hardships, relationships, and circumstances, I internalized a "grass isn't always greener" mentality. My parents' mantra of "don't rock the boat" encouraged me to maintain optimism in my career, a well-intentioned mindset that inadvertently prolonged periods of dissatisfaction.
Excessive resilience can lead to tolerating adversity for too long. Individuals endure toxic relationships or unfulfilling careers, clinging to the familiar. This could entail shouldering heavy workloads akin to Beth's situation or enduring uninspiring roles and difficult supervisors. A Harvard Business Review article highlights the downside of over-resilience, indicating that 75% of US employees consider their direct managers the worst aspect of their jobs, with 65% willing to accept a pay cut to replace their supervisors.
I've learned to recognize maladaptive situations before becoming overly invested. Sensing any inkling of distress, I turn my focus inward, tuning into my centers of intelligence: head, heart and body.. I'm committed to persisting only when my passion propels me.
The quandary of whether to persevere or let go has a dual nature. I often advise clients to introspect before making external decisions.
Looking Inward:
Here are 5 Heart-Centered questions for introspection:
Does my career still spark enthusiasm? Do I feel invigorated and excited?
Is my current career setup effective? Discontent doesn't always necessitate quitting; sometimes, it demands a course correction or a new habit.
Am I tired of being perpetually drained? Is the struggle worth exploring my career intentions deeply?
What benefits come from surrendering? Will I gain time, energy, or freedom?
Does releasing evoke grief or expand my heart?
I'm familiar with the tension between staying and leaving. Sometimes, the battle wanes because it's no longer viable. When my efforts align with purpose, I retain my vigor. Conversely, if I neglect my well-being, family, and sources of joy, I reconsider. I no longer perceive this as defeat but as profound insight into living a fuller life.
Following this analysis, Beth chose to cease her struggle. Collaboratively, we determined her yearning for ease and a different consulting culture. She became a partner in a smaller firm focused on environmental sustainability, working longer hours but savoring weekends. Her renewed energy emanates from her choice for novelty, rejuvenation, and a more deliberate pace, resulting in decreased suffering.
When we stop forcing outcomes, the struggle subsides. Heart-centered living soothes the nervous system, enabling intuition and clarity.
Are you fully committed, or is it time to release?
Connect with me to learn how we support executives facing similar decisions and dilemmas.
